Joe Choi's Stories and Advice on Writing, Health, and Living a Happier Life

I pick one subscriber each month to get FREE copies of my books. Enter your info for a chance to win.

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required

Going to get diesel for the pickup truck

Vivek took off his pants and threw them in the corner of the room and took a seat next to us. We didn’t even have to tell him what was going on.

He looked in the center of the room and saw Faye, a girl from our dorm standing there. She was dressed in red lingerie. She had on the whole ordeal: A garter that held up lacey stockings. Q short, frilly little skirt that showed off her thonged ass whenever she moved about. And a corset that gave her the perfect figure and made her boobs look extra big. Somehow she had this all in her dorm room dresser.

Is this what girls put on their going-away-to-college lists?

Vivek was an off-the-boat Indian, not an Americanized one. He was Billy’s roommate that year.

We were an unlikely bunch who somehow managed to become good friends that year in college. I was an Asian kid from New Jersey. Brent was a stereotypical Californian. And Billy grew up in small town Texas and drove a Dodge Ram pickup that ran on diesel.

The nearest gas station that had diesel was on the other side of town. He always made it a big event whenever he wanted to fill it up. “Hey, let’s go fill up my truck. We’ll get some tacos on the way back.”

Or, “Hey, let’s go fill up my truck. We’ll drive by Luigi’s and see if he wants to kick some field goals on the football field.”

Vivek sometimes came along for the ride. But he was so Indian, that he didn’t understand the shit we always did.

Whatever we ended up doing, we always came back home with a 30 pack of Keystone Lights. Sometimes we even started drinking it in the car on the way home.

This one night, we went out to get diesel for the pickup truck and got some Keystone Lights. We drove around to a couple parties. At this one house party, we ran into Faye from our dorm. She had a crush on Brent the California dream so naturally she tagged along with us.

Faye got tipsy and flirty and clung all over Brent’s arms, but I don’t think he wanted any part of it. He preferred the trophy-wife type, not average-looking girls. And he was pretty enough to get them.

The parties we went to were all lame so we ended up back in the dorm with an almost-empty box of Keystone Lights. We couldn’t find any adventure that night.

Faye sat in the corner of the room and didn’t say a word. Billy, Brent and I reached for some cold Keystones to finish off the case for the night.

We started shooting the shit about parties, drinking, and the purpose of college. It was one of those nights when you think you’re engaged in a deep, heart-to-heart conversation. Where you think you’re smarter than everyone else in the world, but in reality everyone is just drunk and rambling.

“Does that crazy college shit you see in movies actually happen?” someone said.

Faye got up and left the room. We continued talking. She came back ten minutes later wearing a robe.

We all looked up when she walked in. “Where’d you go, Faye?”

Without saying anything she teased open her robe revealing the red lingerie she was wearing underneath. “But first, I want you guys to take off your pants and shirts,” she said.

Nobody questioned her. We just did what she asked.

She tossed the robe into the corner and started dancing to the music playing in the background. She was about to start stripping when Vivek entered the room.

It was past midnight by then. But our night was just getting started. Faye stripped for us. She grinded up against us and tried to firm up the bulges in our boxer shorts. But it was no use. We were drunk and it’s hard to get it up in the company of other men.

So Faye lead us into the bathroom showers. She took us one-by-one and closed the shower curtains for privacy to jack us off individually. Vivek went first. Billy went next. Brent didn’t want any part of it so he went back to his room and went to bed.

I wanted part of it. But I was drunk and there was so much anxiety with the other guys around. So I quietly left and went back to my room. It was like a dream where I could see everything, but couldn’t take part in anything.

I saw Billy and Faye running naked out of the bathroom and through the hallway into Billy’s room again. They slammed the door behind them.

It was near the end of the semester. And that was the last time Billy, Brent, Vivek and I would ever hang out together again. Billy transferred to a school back in Texas. Brent joined a fraternity. My next stop was the Czech Republic.

Vivek was like the lucky foreign exchange student who had his first American college experience.

I ran into him a few times here and there throughout college. He was always with his other Indian friends. They would always ask me, “Dooood, did dat really happen? With the girl in your dorm? We don’t believe Vivek…”

“Yeah, it happened,” I’d always tell them. “We were coming back from filling Billy’s pickup truck up with diesel…”

Obese People at McDonald’s, Startups, and Incest

If you go to McDonald’s at lunch hour, you’ll find obese people who need nutrition counseling and personal training. But trying to sell them these services is a waste of time. Why? They’re obese precisely because they don’t care for nutrition and fitness. One day they might have a scare or some other event mightContinue Reading

13 Perks and How They’ve Helped My Well Being

I took a job once and it came with a $5,000 pay raise. I later found out at a drunken happy hour that I was making less than all my coworkers. Maybe more on that another time. But at the time, I was genuinely excited about all this extra money I was going to have.Continue Reading